Concern 110: Rain

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It has literally rained all day, without stopping, only changing in that it’s got a little bit harder on occasion, then got a little less hard again. I drove to the retail park to get some hayfever tablets and screen cleaning wipes (vital supplies, I know) and got absolutely drenched running to and from the car, and drove slowly down the A1 as it seemed to be taking itself very seriously in its ambition to become a river.

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Yet the weather seems to have made it feel like I’ve wasted my day. I don’t really think I have, at least not half of it; I wrote a brand new Onslaught (which I’d obviously encourage everyone to go and read) this morning which, again, seemed to take a long time to crowbar out of my head but ended up running a fair bit shorter than they often do, and I was quite pleased with that.

The Onslaught is still very much in a learning curve and I’m still feeling out what works with layout and design, as well as with content. The length, the focus, the way I write them, the tone I use…they are altering from article to article, I have noticed it, and I think this one running naturally shorter is definitely progress.

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So I’ve been lethargic all day, waking up tired yet restless. It’s been a really odd day. I’m not entirely clear where the line should be drawn on between how much is circumstantial — the poor night’s sleep, the muggy climate, the constant downpour — and how much is down to me — the tiredness causing a low mood, the inability to go in the garden and do my HIIT or even go for a long walk without risking drowning leaving me twitchy — but I’m pretty much convinced it’s a little bit of both.

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It makes the spaces in-between doing what you decided to do seem long and protracted; where you might otherwise go grab fresh air, you sit in the gloom and watch the rain, go pick up a book and put it down again because you’re feeling too restless to read. I didn’t really need, urgently, to go and get hayfever meds and screen cleaning wipes (who ever needs screen cleaning wipes urgently?) but I did need to leave the house. I needed to move and go out into the world, if only for a little while.

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Again, progress. I’d forgotten I was even working on it earlier until I came to write this post, woke up my MacBook and was greeted with my quarter-finished CV grinning up at me from the screen. I’m still finding it hard going, I’m still finding feeling out what I should be writing pretty difficult…but it is going somewhere.

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If you follow my Concern, please go check out The Onslaught while you’re at it – if you love movies, if you like movie writing that’s about the love of the thing, you might just enjoy it…the latest is about Alien: Covenant. Click below for wonder…

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