#006: Unexpected

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I expected the week to be busy and exhausting – half term at work, very short staffing, events and a heavily planned series of evenings that were designed to make me do something after work. I knew that was going to take it out of me, I expected that.

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One that’s being created for me and by me.

In the same company, in the same sort of job. The place and the industry I certainly do not want to stay in…but the job in the area I want to head towards, that I applied for, the one that got me back on the horse…?

They rejected me rather sharpish, with the standard “thank you but no thank you and no, no reason” email that I’ve come to know and trust. And that very same day I had a visit from some company higher ups who had come to offer me something they hoped would make me stay, having heard that I wanted to leave. I had not expected that.

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Those are two vital things for me at the moment. Money should never be that important…but unfortunately it is, if you want to be a grown up, live your life and to try and make your own way in the world. As it stands, I don’t have anywhere close to enough to live outside of work, and living to work…instead of working to live…when you don’t enjoy your job in the first place is not a nice place to be in every day. The lack of money and life is stressful; the stagnating in your day to day is soul destroying.

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It just means I’m a little more comfortable whilst I look. I say a little because, while it’s a significant pay rise, it still isn’t big bucks and I’m mostly sure it’ll push me through another tax bracket and not leave me much more well off than I currently am anyway…but it helps. Plus it gives me a better standing to negotiate salary in another job—plus, the pay rise comes with a switch to salaried, not hourly, pay and so hard work stands to be rewarded with further potential rises.

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Not in the immediate future. There isn’t a lot out there and the things that interest me…aren’t going to take me on. This unforeseen event has helped my self esteem some — it’s certainly not a good thing that after almost eight years in the same company, I had no idea I was this valued, but it’s a good thing to learn it better late than never, I suppose — and the increase will certainly take some of the pressure off to break out and earn more as soon as possible before I drown. It’s not a solution, but it’s a pretty good fix.

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